Validation May 26, 2012

Validation

This year, with Biwa in fourth grade and Shane in second, things were going quite smoothly for us at home. The boys were progressing well in their academics: grammar, math, geography, history, French, bible, spelling, reading, and piano. My daughter, Tavi was enrolled in our local public school kindergarten, which made her very happy. She had new friends, two girls she adored, and the schedule worked for us, as she started each school day at 11:00.

But I was insecure. This is the plague of home schoolers everywhere, I believe. Were they learning enough?

A friend of mine (a former home schooler), had her kids at a classical Christian academy about a half hour from us, and was encouraging me to explore this school as a possibility for my boys (and not just because she wanted a car pool buddy!) My insecurity got the better of me and after consulting the headmaster I enrolled the boys in their hybrid program: Monday-Tuesday, school at home with the curriculum provided, and the last three days of each week spent at school.

It seemed like a perfect solution! It lasted for eight weeks.

Though I didn’t realize it at the time, I had my answer –my validation – the day before the boys began, when they were assessed. I warned the headmaster although Shane was excelling in math, being a full grade level above second grade, but in reading he was remedial, being that his reading was not fluent. His reading level was an assumption on my part – I somehow couldn’t imagine he was better than grade in both reading and math!

The headmistress came back to me after meeting with Shane and said he was reading at a fourth grade level, and I said, “So… I’m the one with the problem?” Tears sprung to my eyes. I wasn’t a terribly lousy teacher, after all!

Of course, the story doesn’t end there, because I still enrolled the boys. They attended for those eight weeks, and over that time my aggravation with the “system” grew. As good a job as the educators there were doing, I realized Shane was no longer at liberty to pursue his mathematics to his heart’s content. Now he was on a treadmill, along with his entire class. When I went in to discuss his performance at school, the teacher’s comments focused on how well he behaved in class. This is not my main concern, frankly. Biwa started to come home with this oldest-child attitude again, belittling and teasing his younger siblings. I won’t bore you with the details of my frustration with the Internet delivery system for the homework, which was faulty at best to a perfectionist like myself. Finally, the curriculum was not, as I had imagined in my miasmic insecurity, tremendously better than my own!

Oh, and if I had to have one more discussion about the carpool schedule, which was more complicated than the health care bill, I knew it would be the final straw on my sanity.

I determined to pull them back out again, and told them about it. Strangely, they took it in stride. They were curious, of course, but I think the whole waking up early, making their lunches, organizing books and hour minimum travel each day was aggravating them, too. On their last day of school, Shane bounded into the kitchen to announce, “Mommy, I’m so happy today is my last day of school!”

As we settled back into our old routine, Shane began complaining that he didn’t understand his math. Me, mystified: Where did that come from? Shane, crying: It’s too hard for me! Me: Of course it isn’t. You’re brilliant in math. Let’s do it together.

I can’t say exactly what at school had made him fear math, although I will say the text they used was about four inches thick, and a book that size would put me on edge. It took us about six weeks to undo it, so Shane would enjoy his math work again. I’m still working with Biwa not to bully his siblings with derogatory comments and controlling behaviors. But the boys are happier at home, and I’m happier to have them here. Biwa often asks to be woken at six, so he can be done with school before nine!

Ultimately, I’ve learned my lessons: I’m just not really a team player when it comes to the education of my children – I can’t outsource my kids’ care – and I don’t have to, because I am an effective teacher.

I finally received the validation I craved, so I can relax now (sort of). Our kids’ education is so important, and so many little things can affect them at this tender age. I am incredibly happy to know that I can supervise and protect them myself, and help them grow into responsible, fearless young adults. And it’s enough.

Supply and Demand October 30, 2011

Welcome to a new year of homeschooling, Sorbo-style.

We started off the new school year one week ahead of our public school, mainly because we had all really lazed toward the end of the summer, and I knew we would need a ‘settling-in’ period to get back in the groove. By this I mean we did part-time school with old workbooks, just to review and get up to speed with our work. Meanwhile, I had ordered our new textbooks and was waiting with bated breath.

Now, if you’ve read previous blogs, you know how I tout the wonders of the Shurley Grammar curriculum. We are currently pursuing years 4 and 2 of that study. Biwa hates the writing component and yet he excels at it, so I make a point of noticing how quickly he finished, after he moans about how long it will take him to do both assignments (yes, two writing assignment on writing days!) Shane dislikes doing any work, yet revels in it once he’s begun. He adores learning.

For mathematics, Shane has the 3^rd year Spectrum notebook and Biwa 4^th year and they are both finding the books challenging but not overwhelming.

For history I still like The Story of the World series, but I’ll be honest, the workbooks are a little much for my kids for some reason. I don’t believe in forcing a child to do what I call busy work because they know what it is. Biwa never has patience for drawing or coloring; he lacks aptitude for it anyway, so why torture him? Shane, on the other hand, loves those kinds of things, as well as connect-the-dots and puzzles, so he is much more responsive to the coordinated workbook for history. I found him a connect-the-dots book specifically on Egypt and it’s all I can do to keep up with him.

As for science, it’s all around us. We have our lizard and the boys are expert lizard hunters. We are hatching a tomato hornworm into its moth. The tomato hornworm was found by Shane, after our first four up and died on us, and he eventually formed his chrysalis and buried himself in our terrarium. But not before absolutely devouring my tomato plants! That’s okay, because I made a garden this year, so the kids got to experience first hand growing some of the other vegetables they eschew. We also just attended the Science Night at our public school. I only remembed it at the last minute, after karate, and I innocently asked, so, did you still want to go to Science Night tonight? “Yes! I LOVE science!” was the resounding answer.

I’m having Biwa study French this year, and he has actually started pronouncing the “R” correctly, finally, but I am still researching a better Latin program for the future. The one I got for last year turned out to be only a single year program!

But there are even more important lessons to be learned at home and so I will share this story with you.

I have some very ugly outdoor lights. They are purple, and hang very low, giving them a strange vibe. I had recently realized that I could maybe rehang them upside down, and they probably would look a lot better, so I asked a painter to give me a quote to paint them a more palatable color, but I never heard back. Finally, I decided to take matters into my own hands and I offered the job to Biwa, for a lot more money than he deserved. Part of my thinking was that by over-rewarding him I would somehow engender a greater sense of responsibility and he might ‘rise’ to the occasion. That was misguided, but I’m getting ahead of myself.

Biwa stepped up gamely enough, taking the lanterns I removed from the walls, scrubbing and washing them, and then taping them to my satisfaction before starting to paint them with a primer-paint spray we had picked up.

Then his sister made a great big mud puddle with the hose. Shane joined her and that proved too much temptation for Biwa. Mud is fun!

Biwa came to tell me the paint can needed a rest, and he was going to join his siblings in the mud bath. Well, push apparently came to shove, and Biwa ended up spray-painting his younger brother’s arm. Livid, I explained that this was completely irresponsible of him (he could have blinded Shane!) and I cut his promised wages in half.

But let’s face it. He is only ten. I reconsidered my rush to judgment while Biwa was rinsing off upstairs. When he came downstairs after showering I told him I felt that perhaps I had overreacted. I would only dock his pay by 20% (thus forcing him to do some math work as well).

He looked at me with a sly smile. “That’s good, Mom, ’cause in the shower I was thinking that I could just refuse to do it at all, and then you’d have to get a guy in to paint and that would cost you a lot of money – more than me.” He knew already that no painter had returned my calls.

Well paint me proud, though a little miffed at his cockiness. His barely suppressed glee at having bested me in this negotiation was too obvious to overlook.

After duly absorbing his surprising grasp of basic supply and demand economics, the next day I decided I had to take him down a few pegs.

I started with, “Biwa, things have changed a bit again.” Then I launched into my own cunning analysis in a very matter-of-fact tone. “After I began applying your own logic to my situation, I’ve decided that you are going to do the job I gave you for half price. You see I know that there is nowhere else that you can earn the money I will pay you, even just this half we are talking about. So you will finish the paint job, and you will be happy to collect your pay for it. And if it isn’t done today, then I will do it myself, and that money is off the table for good. And for next time, I hope you’ve also learned it’s best to keep quiet when you are ahead, although I am very proud of you for thinking the way you did in the shower yesterday – you know that. You are very, very smart!”

Of course he tried to argue with me, but I had the upper hand (though how long this will last is a testy subject for me). There really is nowhere else for him to earn that kind of money, and I know him – he loves money! He eventually agreed, and even put on a smile when I insisted. I do admit to enlisting friends to commend his fine job and also remark on how well paid he was – not letting on they knew it was only half of our original figure.

This entire experience involved a couple of tremendously valuable lessons in the art of negotiation and supply and demand – none of which would have been taught in this way had my son been enrolled in our local school. (I could never have given him this chore with all the homework he would be bringing home on a daily basis.) And of course the lesson I learned is also invaluable: a child may rise to the occasion you craft for them, but they are only so tall.

Week 18: Per Diem February 24, 2011

Week 18: Per Diem

I started this blog as a way to share my homeschooling journey with others. I realized I have yet to write what a typical day looks like, mainly because there is definitely a “settling in” period when you transition from outsourced schooling to home schooling. So here goes…

I usually get up at 5:30, with no alarm. That’s just when my writing wakes me up, while I’m devoted to my most recent book project. I sit with a cup of tea and type at the computer for about 2.5 hours, until, at eight, I do a quick email run down and then head upstairs to change out of my bathrobe and get ready for the day.

The kids usually wake up between 6 and 8, the little ones sometimes 8:30. When Daddy’s home, they get to bed later than when he’s not, so today, Biwa is up at 7:30, and he’s allowed to watch cartoons until 8 AM. After 8, there is no more television. That is actually incentive enough to get him up extra early sometimes! By eight twenty, Biwa is eating breakfast and the other two have wandered down to the kitchen, searching for some nourishment. Kevin is Breakfastman, so he is helping them with eggs and cereal while I get dressed.

At nine AM, I like to start the day. We begin with a short run-down of some Latin words at the kitchen table. Today isn’t the lesson day, just a review, which goes quickly, and we are off into other subjects quite quickly. Biwa wanders into my office to do spelling, with headphones and a study DVD. He takes a spelling test every day, advancing to the next test only after completing two of the same, two days in a row, with no mistakes. Shane and I get started with his “SN-V” stuff, (subject noun – verb,) or Shurley Grammar, as it’s more widely known. He loves it, and although it is hard to get him committed (there are so many other more interesting things to do!) once he is seated, he is thrilled to be able to identify all the words and their jobs in the three daily sentences, and learn the new vocabulary as well. We go through a lesson today about writing a two-point expository paragraph and he is surprisingly eager to start it: My Favorite Colors. In just under 45 minutes, we are done.

I turn his math book to the next two pages for him to complete, sending him off with a kiss on the cheek.

I call for Tavia. She has reading every day, but as I call her, the phone rings and I have to take it. Saved by the bell!

After my phone call, I wrangle Tavia and we sit to do the little bit of reading she has. She is just getting her letter sounds down, so reading is quite a struggle for her, but she is making progress and even she can see it. After about ten minutes, she starts complaining about being too hot. Her attention is shot. I gently insist on finishing the page, though, which we get through with my extra help, and then she asks sweetly, “Mommy, can I take a break now?” Of course she can!

Biwa finds me still at the kitchen table, for his grammar. “Mom, it’s time to do grammar.” I have to take care of something with my assistant in the office, but I’m back in less than ten minutes and I find Biwa sitting, imagining some war happening on the kitchen table between his Lego warriors. “Okay. Let’s get started, please!” he greets me.

Today is a lesson on quotation marks, so after the daily sentence parsing, I read through the lesson with him, go over the practice section so he knows what to do, and set him free.

Now I have a chance to catch up on the emails I’ve been ignoring, but not for long, because Shane is having trouble with the last page of math problems. That takes no time at all to sort out – he was stuck on the name Tonya in the word problems! He finishes that page as I dig out the reading book we are working in. He’s got two pages of reading lessons. While he is starting that, Biwa practices his piano. Shane sneaks over to the piano when reading is finished, and Biwa comes back to do some history: Christopher Columbus, which mainly involves reading. I read aloud to him, plus he has two chapters to read in his book about the explorer.

I call out “What do you want for lunch?” to the other two while Biwa finishes the history reading by himself.

Usually, we watch lunch at the TV with educational videos we get at the library. Today, I have the History Channel’s “Alexander the Great” on instead. Both Biwa and I are fascinated to learn about this iconic historical figure, but this subject is not really for the little ones, thought it can’t hurt for them to see it. They lose interest as soon as they finish eating, though, and head outside to find grasshoppers and snakes.

Biwa finishes up his Bible work and math after lunch. He still has reading, but I send him outside to shoot hoops for a while. In the afternoon, we head out for two karate classes. Biwa has recently advance into orange belt, so the boys are no longer in the same class, but because Biwa finished his work all before 1:30, he gets to play phone games at karate while Shane takes his class. And Tavia has a play date there with her BFF, the younger sister of one of Shane’s classmates.

When we get home, it’s time for some chores. First, Shane must unload the dishwasher. Tavia helps with forks and spoons, as he puts it. He corrected his grandmother the other day for calling it “cutlery.” Biwa gets to load it back up again while I make dinner. He has learned well and loads it perfectly. I’m so proud!

After dinner today we decide to play mancala, a strategy game with marbles, on the new iPad. I love this game, although Biwa thrashes me soundly. Then we do a round of Shoots and Ladders, so Tavia can join in. Soon, it’s off to bed. For me, too. I’m exhausted, but happy!

 

January, 2011: Re-Assimilation… January 16, 2011

A friend just emailed me that she had enjoyed a nice winter school holiday but was dreading the whole morning rush back to school.  I don’t experience that particular phenomenon, although I did wonder how it would go for my kids and me, getting back in school mode after our long break.  We took three weeks vacation over Christmas – the first week with no school requirements, and the second two with only minimal reading I’ll explain later.

Here’s how we re-assimilated…

We arrive back home from our trip on Monday morning at 7:30, after a night’s flight.  I am way too exhausted, and so are the kids, to do any homework today, so I give them the day off, in exchange for their promise to push everything by a day – meaning schoolwork on Saturday.

Tuesday, I’m still strung out from the lack of sleep and jet-lag or whatever, but I am sitting at my computer first thing in the morning and Biwa waltzes in and starts his Latin. “Mom, please print out the assignment sheet, so I can cross things off as I go.”

Then he goes right into math, and after that, spelling.  Finally, he says, “Mom, let’s get the grammar done now.”  Who am I to say “no” to that?  Frankly, I’ll admit that I am way too tired to enforce some sort of work ethic today, but if he’s asking me to do grammar, I’m gonna (by golly) do grammar with him!  He finishes off with history.  I’ve decided to start him on a different, more comprehensive history curriculum, but, unfortunately, I quickly discover I don’t have all the materials, so I get over to the computer and order them.

Because of Biwa’s enthusiasm, the other children follow suit, so in answer to whether it is difficult to get back to schoolwork after an extended holiday, I give a resounding (and somewhat surprised,) “No!”  Wednesday, we are getting back into the swing of things, and by the end of the week, Saturday, we finish our week’s worth of work.

The only challenge is that next week, we leave again on Wednesday! The kids will be skiing, so I don’t want to burden them with too much schoolwork while we are there. It’s no fun struggling to learn when you are tired. Review is better for this trip, so I’ve decided bring other stuff instead of 5-day-Shurley. Plus, that approach lightens my load. We’ll take our math books instead, and lots of reading – the most important element in schooling!

I will say that although we didn’t do ‘formal’ school over our long vacation, I had Biwa reading over an hour each day. We also explored the local historical buildings.

For Shane, whose reading is challenged, I took my teaching book for reading and we did two lessons each day, only about 30-45 minutes. That actually provided a nice break from the whole doing-nothing-because-you’re-on-vacation routine. I also did a few pages in the same book – earlier chapters – with Tavie each day. My goal was that by the end of our trip, Shane would be reading.

I proudly report it worked! When we got back, I took out a level 2 “I can read” book, (a book he never could have attempted before my accelerated reading program,) and he read it, haltingly. When it comes to reading, Shane has an issue with confidence. Remember, he excels in math, so I guess it’s a bit of a trade-off.  But now, he’s totally reading! Another wonderful result is that Tavie is now also reading, three-letter-words only, with lots of help. But her approach is so fearless, she’ll say anything – just take a stab at the word, even a bold-faced guess – whereas Shane is intimidated into silence by the fear of being wrong, it seems. No worries. A little cajoling and a bit of encouragement, and he’ll read better and better.

Today, after a long bit of concentration on my cereal box, he asked me, “Mom, does that say ‘peanut butter granola’ on that box?”  He was right!

Troubled Teens Born in the Classroom January 1, 2011

“I could never home-school. I would probably kill my kid by Wednesday, if I had to spend the entire day with him, every day!”

Typical fare for the teenager-parent relationship? Unfortunately, yes. But ironically, the individuals making these pronouncements are often the ideal candidates for home schooling. Possibly the worst thing frustrated parents can do is send their aloof, argumentative children away (to school.) In any other setting, dropping them off somewhere, for someone else to deal with, would be deemed giving up on the relationship. (This is the way children likely perceive the slight as well – they aren’t stupid, you know.)

If the parents cannot stand to spend time with their own child, how will he ever feel loved? But parents are so blinded by school’s beacon; they shield their eyes and shove the child into the wolves’ den. (It is no wonder he returns home behaving like a wild animal.)

What children learn in school…

Parents wonder where their relationship with their teen went wrong. Answer: Their influence was all but eclipsed the moment the child crossed the school threshold. It’s that simple. Each day a young child goes to school, he learns (way too early,) that his parents don’t know everything. School reinforces this point by teaching the little ones to instruct their parents. “Tell Mommy not to pack plastic sandwich bags in your lunch – that kills the dolphins!” Mommy kills dolphins! He makes friends with other kids whose parents also slaughter innocent animals. He joins his peers, learns to challenge authority, then comes home and asserts himself. The parent thinks, “Well, that’s probably a good thing, because he is learning to be self-confident and capable.”

But a good parent has a sneaking suspicion that it isn’t quite right.

Troubled Teens

A few years later, still on the school treadmill, the youngster becomes a surly judgmental teen and the fights get too big to try to win anymore. The parent throws his hands up and sighs. “Teenagers!” It’s inevitable: the independence, the ego, his disdain for Mom’s outdated values and his resentment that Dad somehow has maintained control of the Wii remote or his access to the car.

The experts, school authorities, say they see this type of thing every day and advise the parents to weather the storm. Other parents agree: the teen years are the pits – but completely normal and acceptable. (Shrugs and chuckles!)

By “normal” they mean that most children go through this, but most children are enrolled in school. By “acceptable” they mean it simply must be endured; it is unavoidable. Wrong. “I’m too lazy to take on home schooling. It’s all I can do to keep up with their homework.” “I can’t teach my kids. What would I do when they got to algebra or calculus? I don’t remember any of that stuff.” If first grade learning is too hard, by all means, start him in school now. But let’s not fool ourselves: homework is home school (just with more pressure, later in the day, when everyone’s tired, hungry and grouchy.)

Acquaintances of mine went to a home schooling convention early on in their children’s lives and met families with polite, loving teenagers. They quickly decided, “That’s how we want our kids to behave when they are that age.” Now they successfully home school their respectful and caring teens.

Academics?

On December 6th, President Obama addressed a report that US teens continue to sink in world education rankings, calling for another “Sputnik moment.” It took only 18 years to bring our space program up to par, but we were already running second in the race. According to the Programme for International Student Assessment, in a recent study of 65 countries, US education scored lower than fourteenth on the list, well behind Japan and South Korea. Is a mediocre education worth risking the parent-child relationship?

Not when home-schooled children typically out-perform their public school counterparts by 30-37 percentile points across the board. Socializing all day (for that is truly what school has become,) is apparently not the most sensible way to nurture or instruct a child. With so little to recommend a public education, the decision to send a child to school must be a product of societal conditioning. Responsible parents owe it to themselves and their families to investigate home schooling options.

As distressing as they are, the parents’ mundane declarations in this article articulate tremendous loss: the death tolls of those parent-child relationships. They indicate great naïveté, and yes, selfishness. Tragically, these parents have speciously placed their hope and trust in an institutionalized “education” system that gradually but resoundingly destroys the very fabric of their family life and, consequently, the future role of family in our nation.

Week 11, Nov. 15, Spinach December 11, 2010

Note: my first son is enjoying a name-change at the moment.  He has chosen to be called Biwa, his baby nickname, developed by him before he could speak correctly.  He asked me last week if he could change his name, then relented because he was afraid the other kids would make fun of him.  I explained to him that kids can always find something to pick on if they want – they wouldn’t need a strange name if they wanted to tease him, and that his name defined him only if he let it.  So he chose to revert to this strange, entirely unique, made-up name (also a Japanese instrument.) After retraining myself to call him only Braeden, it is an arduous trial for my brain to relearn his moniker, so I often resort to Sweetie, but I think he is on to me!

This week is about grammar and writing.  In the past, I have told my eldest child that writing is painting with words.  Because he is enthusiastic about putting paintbrush to paper, I figured this would impress on him the beauty that he can uncover with words.  His blank look indicated otherwise, I’m afraid.  Then, out of the blue, I suppose something inside his brain clicked.

At the end of each week, our curriculum calls for Braeden Biwa to write an essay. Each week they modify the format slightly, making it progressively more complex and challenging.  The essay is often met with tears and complaints, but this week, for no apparent reason, Braeden Biwa dove enthusiastically into the construction of his paper.

The topic he chose from the list was why he liked or did not like a certain food.

What’s Wrong with Spinach?

By Biwa Sorbo

I have discovered that I dislike spinach for several reasons.  Although many people enjoy eating spinach because it is considered nutrictious [sic] and beneficial, for me, spinach is the most disgusting vegetable.  Spinach’s worst offences are its bad taste, horrible smell, and squishy texture.

One of the reasons I hate to eat spinach is because of its repulsive taste.  When I was six, I tried it for the first time and it took four applications of mouthwash to get the taste out of my mouth.  Another reason I don’t care for spinach is because it smells like a stinky swamp. When my mother made creamed spinach, I almost threw up in my soup!  The final reason I abhore [sic] this nasty vegetable is because of its gritty texture.  When my mom made me try spinach it stuck to my teeth like tinfoil, making me very uncomfortable.

Spinach has to be the worst vegetable known to mankind.  It certainly is for me.  There are many foods I like to eat, but spinach is not one of them.

 

I did help him construct this, make no mistake, but the enthusiasm and illustration in the piece is all his. I happen to strongly disagree with its sentiment, but the paper certainly stands on its own with regards to passion and color.

Paint me proud.

 

Week 9, Nov. 1, Paperwork December 11, 2010

Yesterday I went to an orientation event for a local home school ‘network.’  This is a school, organized by a mom several years ago, which offers classes, outings, and social events for children who are home schooled.  The mom spoke about her two disparate children: a daughter who learned to read at 2 and a half and graduated from college at 22 with four degrees (including a law degree,) and a son who didn’t read until the ripe old age of ten.  Probably neither of her children would have thrived in a traditional school setting, but they are both well-adjusted, successful individuals today.  I found her story very intriguing and also encouraging.

The seminar was held at a local church, in an informal setting.  The speaker addressed many questions from the audience. I am very interested in this school, which provides a “bona fide” diploma and transcript for every graduating student, but only because of the teaching opportunities it offers.  When the topic for questions finally turned toward the paperwork, I left.

That is not to say I am unconcerned with paperwork.  The school takes pride in being very disciplined with record keeping, and they insist on parents attending a two-day seminar regarding school records.  This is probably a good thing, given the current policies and regulations our “free” society lives under.  For the school, they must comply with federal and state laws, and for the parents, this gives them a sense of security regarding the validity of the school.

But many parents are overly concerned about the paperwork.  This is understandable, though, because we are brainwashed to expect a good public education and assume it will lead to even better things.  The paperwork proves value!  Although now, everyone knows, grade inflation has caused diplomas to be worth, well, not even the paper they are written on.  A diploma barely may get you into college, these days.  Why is that?  Because of the breakdown in our educational system.

This speaks to an entire world/life view.  General studies colleges mainly teach how to be a good employee.  The most successful people I know did not graduate from college. Think of Steve Jobs, Bill Gates and Richard Branson.  They are entrepreneurs, people who think out of the box.  Like my friends, they are not employees, people who depend on an individual employer, a large corporation, or the government, for a paycheck and a retirement account.  College is certainly useful if you want to be a lawyer, a doctor, or an engineer, perhaps, but beyond that, college does little to prepare young students for the real world, except to teach them to seek out a boss, somewhere.  That attitude trickles down to the lower schools as well.

Education should be a life-long endeavor.  People who stop growing their brains stop using their brains, and then the brain starts to atrophy.  If we, as a society, allow the focus to be entirely on college – and then getting a good job – the message is that education stops where real life begins.

Is this too subtle?  I don’t think so, but you may disagree.  I like the home schooling method, because it brings education into the every day lifestyle.  It is no longer “go to school to learn, come home to regrettably do home work, then have the rest of your time unencumbered.”  Our school happens full time.  It is a way of life.  I want my kids to go to college, but only on their own terms, with an end-goal and a plan – not as another step to avoiding reality.  How many kids do you know who are still trying to find themselves while spending copious amounts of money to be educated?  Then they graduate, but cannot find the job they imagined.  How could they?  What do they know of real jobs, to conjure up a realistic one, after they’ve been virtually sequestered inside school walls their entire lives?

I am preparing my kids for life-long learning.  A diploma won’t speak to that.  It’s like a birthday card for a toddler.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Week 8: Probabilities November 22, 2010

What is the probability that my son, Braeden, will finish his all of his schoolwork before 1:30 in the afternoon?

Very high, in actuality.  He is incentivized by the opportunity to play a half-hour of video games, if his work is finished before the clock chimes 1:30.

This week I finally succeeded in establishing a suitable assignment schedule for Braeden and Shane.  (The previous ones just weren’t the right format.)  This one has the week’s work on it.  It’s nothing fancy; it simply lists the various subjects and extracurricular (why are they considered extra, anyway?) activities, like karate, piano, or other lessons, for each day.  Braeden likes to cross off each subject when he’s done it for that day.  He is also further incentivized to finish because he won’t get karate or basketball if he hasn’t completed his assignments in time for us be on time for class, and those classes are later in the afternoon.  I have placed the power in their hands.

Shane still struggles with this.  (I think Shane is just to young for this approach, so I’m more hands-on with him.)  For Braeden, though, my plan seems to be a hit.  One day this week, he got up early, started his spelling at just after eight, and finished all of his work by 11:15.

This presents me with an interesting conundrum.  “Wow!  Good for him!” is accompanied by me doubting myself as a teacher.  It is great that he is enthusiastic enough to rush through his work, to attack it and complete it, and learn the sense of accomplishment of getting a job done.  My son is a consummate procrastinator.  Anything that teaches him the better choice is certainly what he needs, so I’m happy to see it working.  The more often he finishes early, the easier it becomes for him to do his work timely.

But my self-doubt still wheedles its way in, making me nervous.  Am I not giving him enough work? Is he doing a good enough job on it? Why don’t I just send him to school and let them agonize over whether he is being well educated or not?

The answer to the first two questions is easy enough.  Yes, and yes.  He is learning.  I check his papers daily (or at least every other day,) to make sure that he is actually doing the work, instead of rushing through it sloppily. And, I could always give him more, but as we were easing into this new paradigm, I didn’t want to overwhelm him too much.  I will start now putting a little more on his plate, so we’ll see how it goes.  In the meantime, he is performing well and improving, for certain, so I must content myself with that knowledge.

As for the third question, well, who’s to say that whoever he might be assigned for a teacher at our local school would be as concerned as I am with his education?  We hear almost daily about how teachers are over-taxed with too many students and not enough resources.  I’ve experienced both good teachers, mediocre, and bad, and I have decided not to spend my time helping them or fighting with them, or even volunteering at the bake sale.  I prefer to spend my time making absolutely certain that my boy receives an education we can both be proud of, even if it is at my hands.

That does not placate my fears of inadequacy, unfortunately.  What does calm my anxiety is seeing him blossom, watching his growth in language and writing, and experiencing an improved relationship with him.  (I also enjoy other’s positive comments about his behavior and attitude.  My friends have seen improvement, too.)

This year, I’ve started to insist my children employ “ma’am” and “sir.”  This seemed extreme to me, at first – after all, I don’t live in the South – but I was determined.  “Please” and “thank you” seemed so easily forgotten that I figured the kids needed some stronger language to make the rule stick.  I reasoned that if it became more of an issue, there was a better chance they would remember it.  It worked.

Now I simply wait an extra beat before answering their requests, until I get a quick “Please, Ma’am?” with a smile tacked onto the end.  Better than that, when we are out, I hear that politesse used with other people, who look at me and raise their eyebrows, impressed.  What’s the likelihood they will remember their manners now?  Very, very likely.

I’m playing this game of probabilities with schooling, too.  There was a chance that if I sent Braeden to public school this year he would have gotten a fantastic teacher and he would have learned a great deal more than I could ever teach him in third grade.  But that most likely wouldn’t have been the case.  I probably would be doing just as much work with him, during after-school hours.  And an 11:15 AM finish would be off the table for good.

It’s probably better this way.

 

 

 

Week 7: Revelations November 19, 2010

We went to class at Johnny Gyro Karate.  Braeden and Shane are both still white belts, but they are dedicated, and so, when we are in town, we go almost every day.  On Wednesday, the teacher asked the students how they were performing in school.  Braeden answered, “Good. But I don’t…” Then, out of embarrassment, it seemed, he stopped talking.

Mr. Gyro said, “Well, Braeden, at least you’re honest!” laughing to himself, and the other parents, who also thought it was funny.

What they didn’t’ realize was that Braeden had simply stopped himself from saying that he was home-schooled.  I had told the kids that it was not appropriate to tell just everyone they met that they were home-schooled, as they were wont to do!  I mean, everyone, regardless of if they had even started a conversation yet.  Shane might just approach someone in Michael’s and say, “I am in the first grade, but I don’t go to school.  I’m home-schooled, like my brother.  He’s nine.”  Et cetera.

I knew I needed to put a stop to that.  Ventura County is quite receptive to home schooling, but LA County, not so much.  We live in Ventura, right on the border of LA.  For this reason, I often put off doing errands with the kids until the afternoon, when it can easily be assumed that they have been released from school.  With one child, it might not be such a big deal, but with three, well, suffice it to say we don’t often fly under the radar.  We are noticeable, and though for many this may seem odd, there are people who report truancy, which is a crime (of the parent, who is responsible to get their children aged six and older to school.)  Not that my kids are truant; quite the contrary, of course.  But I don’t need the aggravation of an investigation.

Since our school happens between nine and usually one- or two-thirty, afternoon errands are a natural.  For this reason, it seldom would be necessary to discuss home schooling with others.  It shouldn’t even come up, except for me being the motor mouth that I am, and unable to control my excitement about it.  Still, that’s reserved for specific, reasonable occasions, not strangers in a crafts store.

I sat the kids down and said I needed their attention to an important matter.  I said, “Now, I do not want you to lie.  But I also don’t want you to blab.  Some people are less receptive to the idea of home schooling, so from now on, you will simply tell the truth, which is that you are enrolled in a private school.  Can you say that?  Say it: I go to a private school.”  They did.

“What if they ask us the name of our school, Mommy?” Braeden asked.

“Then you can answer them, “Reveille Academy.”  That’s the name of our school.”

“That’s a crappy name.  I don’t like it.”  Braeden has a quick, critical mind, to put it nicely.  “Let’s call it Buttfart Academy.  That has a better ring to it.”  Oh the joy of these little, unencumbered minds!  Shane burst into laughter, and Tavia’s giggles were contagious.

After I calmed down, I said, “Well, I’m sorry you feel that way.  If you’d prefer, you can pronounce it ‘rev-uh-lay’ Academy.  But that’s the name of our school.” I was so matter-of-fact, I invited no argument.

It worked.  “Oh.  Okay, I like the first way better.  Reveille.  Shane, can you say Reveille?”  Braeden is very into being the big, knowledgeable older brother.

They all said “Reveille.”

Then I explained to them that the name means to awaken, but can also be interpreted, phonetically, at least, as “to dream.”  My sister, their aunt, gave the suggestion for this name.  The French word reveille gave us not only the name for the military trumpet call, it is also distantly related to reveal, which is particularly meaningful for a school.  So many games to play with this word!  I love it!

Now that my kids know the name of their school (it hadn’t occurred to me to really share that with them before!) they seem to feel more invested in it.  While they still are not overly shy about telling people that they are home-schooled, at least now they have a subtle understanding about privacy, their own, and they are more careful to protect it.

Now, that’s a revelation!

Week 6 November 15, 2010

This was a great week, for a few reasons.  First, Shane’s grammar program, Shurley Grammar, moved him from the more banal ‘learning to classify stuff’ to actual grammar.  Second, we finally started to settle in to a rhythm.  Third, I just like to be back home after any trip!  The first reason for this week being a success is the most interesting…

Shurley Grammar is a course that teaches how to classify or diagram sentences, (among other things.)  It reveals to growing minds how language is organized, with categories and jobs for all the words and even jobs for each sentence in an essay.  Remember what a subject is?  Can you define ‘dangling participle?’   Well, I must admit that although I excelled in grammar in – uh- grammar school, I can’t for the life of me remember what a dangling participle is!  But I am saved, now, by Shurley.  Surely, she will teach me!

I digress.

Last week and the previous ones, Shane and I spent all of our grammar time cutting out pictures of things, in magazines, for instance, and sorting them into categories, in various ways.  Pasting them, piling them, putting them in folders.  This week, for the first time, we read sentences and determined the subject noun and the verb in each sentence.  Shurely has handy little jingles, to help you remember what’s what in grammar. Sung to the tune of “This Old Man,” “This little noun, floating around…” defines a noun as a person, place, or thing.

Shane and I began…

“Dog runs.”

“What runs?”

“Dog, subject noun.”

At this point, Shane labeled Dog with SN, for subject noun.  Next, we labeled the verb in the sentence.

Sorry – let me get to the good part.  The next day, Daddy was going to run an errand and asked if the boys wanted to come with him.  (I’m fine with that, as long as they understand that homework is still due.  And they love to goof off – or do anything, really – with Daddy.)  Shane, standing next to me in my office, said, “Mommy, I don’t want to go with Daddy.  Can we do some more of that ‘s-n-v’ stuff, like yesterday?”

Okay, where did that just come from?  I was astounded.  “You bet we can do some more of that!”  So, for the next four days, we did not only the three sentences in the book, he made me come up with extra ones for him on the fly!   (“Braeden farts.” Got a big response!  “Farts: verb.”)

The intrinsic value in this agenda is that once the student appreciates and learns organization of language, they can apply that approach elsewhere, making it easier for them to get familiar with and comprehend other subjects.  I don’t care if Shane, like me, doesn’t know what a dangling participle is when he is in his – uh – thirties, but his mind needs to understand that language, learning, and life, all have an underlying organization.  Teaching him this organization is giving him a tool he can use to break down and comprehend bigger and more complicated things later on.

Some people never learn to do this, to their own detriment.  Have you ever heard someone fight for a point, get it validly refuted, only to hear him return to the same line of reasoning a moment later?   This is because they cannot organize the simple elements of their argument into their proper classifications, like “invalid.”

Braeden is also doing this kind of grammar, although two years advanced on Shane’s.  His book lays third grade’s more intricate lessons out very clearly.  It includes nicely worded teaching scripts that can be read directly to students, be they one or many.  It has five lessons per unit, which equates to one unit per week.  As anal as I am, I admit that keeps me from missing a day, because I want Monday to be day one of the unit so badly!

Four days a week he learns parts of speech and usage.  Thursdays are test days for Braeden.  Fridays are for writing practice, meaning expository paragraphs.  Those are taught step by step in the book as well.  I remember the template Braeden was given for book reports in school, with questions to describe the plot, or what happened in each chapter.  It was a layman’s method to teaching analysis, and not very effective, since Braeden often tried to simply copy the first and the last sentence of each chapter directly out of the book, as his summary of events.  Now, instead of spending my time reviewing the book with him and trying to teach him how to word the summary to encompass the events in the chapter, I am teaching him the three-point paragraph, a fundamental building block for mounting a convincing argument, an organizational tool he’ll use for the rest of his life.

And at the same time, Shurley may actually be improving my writing, or at least my dangling participles.